Why I Will Always Hate Indie Rap

I've been listening to hip hop my whole life (which I admit is not that long), but after developing a palate for fine, golden-age beats and lyrics, i have come to feel disgusted by the what the kids today call "indie rap". Record labels like Def Jux and Rhymesayers put out crappy crap crap that legions of preteen emo kids follow as if the artists there are better than Rakim, KRS-One and Kool G Rap (my heroes). I Hate It With A Fiery Passion!

It's not cus they're white (although I’ve begun to see that I discriminate towards white rap alot). I just hate their style.

Your over the head rhymes are not very over the head. Just because a rapper uses the words "juxtaposition" and "proballistic" in the same line doesn't mean its groundbreaking music. Its unnecessary fluff, the shit you use when you need to make 6 pages from a 3 page essay (trust me, I'm the Fluff King). Just stick to captivating the crowd through understandable metaphors and witty puns. I don't want to hear about how you're life is compared to the animalism Faulkner exemplifies in "Light in August".

On that note, indie rap is borderline emo. Please stop talking about random shit in your life like your feelings and start to move the crowd. Some mindless substance is acceptable in the rap world, you don't always have to be then next Ginsberg. Nobody cares about the shit you write about, Aesop. What the hell are you saying?

That's another thing: Why do Def Jux and Rhymesayers rappers have to sound like they have an entire continental breakfast in their mouth? They're nasal rapping is enough to make you go crazy. I mean, it's one thing that we have no idea what Mr. Lif is talking about, but even if we did, we would be able to understand it with the cat screeching sound he calls a voice. It's idiotic.

Plus, they try so hard to be indie that they're worse than the mainstream dumbasses. It's like those kids in school who spend all their time complaining about how jocks and popular kids are idiots, when they are the ones who spend their whole day whining! I don't wanna hear about how the life of an indie rapper is hard. Say your shit and get out! Goddamnit!

Lastly, why the fuck do your beats have to sound so shitty, El-P. Just because it's disgustingly futuristic doesn't mean its genius. I hate this space age, hollow drum beat crap. Gimme some Primo and I’ll be good.

So to wrap it up, I’ll probably be listening to golden age for the rest of my life. This has been a one minute rant by your favorite Indian.